sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
