at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
