Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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