I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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