That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize