how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
