It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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