i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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