i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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