life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
PANTIES FOUND
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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