Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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