I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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