Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
