good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
