Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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