Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
