I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
