Me too!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
