It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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