STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
