i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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