then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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