Me. At least after what I've been through.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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