90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize