Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
