Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
