Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize