If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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