How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
