I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize