His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
