Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
