I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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