I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
