One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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