Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
