so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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