Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
