matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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