This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize