Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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