I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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