this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
