Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet