What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize