well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
