just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
