so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
