covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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