apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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