I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
