A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
