umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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