piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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