Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize