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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.

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• (310): View more from California

  Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.

  (512): View more from Texas

  That would explain all the random shit in my room...

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.

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