the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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