Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
