So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
