with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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