do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize