I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
