Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So vagazzling was a success
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
