Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
