They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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